(此文，和我的“谁湿了我的内裤”有得一拼)
欲哭无泪！我在火车上上厕所的尴尬经历
生活在中国的人，一般都坐过两种车，一种自行车，一种火车。今天我就给大家讲讲
我在火车上的尴尬经历，那是我读大学的时候(具体时间就不提了)过完年，赶回学校
去，由于还是春运，票太紧张了，于是就尝试了下以民工为主的加班车(这辈子唯一
一次，经历太痛苦，以后再也不敢坐这种加班车了，痛苦就不细表了，重点说尴尬。
从火车站广场上，就开始拼命的挤，拼命啊~~从候车到上车就战斗了将近两个小时(
幸好哥们练过，不然早壮烈了，再次惊叹咱们农民工兄弟的体格那是相当的棒！)。
上车之后，端正了四个小时，根本不敢动，因为人多的你也根本动不了，这么说吧,
由于过道已经站不下了，已经有不少哥们姐们爬上行李架了，乘务员在这个时候根本
看不见，到站也不开门,人直接从窗户爬进来,体格好的能爬的就进来，不能爬的就只
能望车兴叹了。所以我水也不敢喝(怕尿尿啊)。可是就在这关键时刻，我闹肚子了！
上火车的时候俺亲爱的老妈做了好多好吃的，一桌子菜，了解我的人都知道我特能吃
，而且在吃的问题上抗忽悠能力基本为零。所以我也在上车前胡吃海塞吃了一顿。闹
肚子也没办法啊,忍啊！可是每当快忍不住的，我鼓足了勇气，下定了决心站起来的
时候，一看人山人海顿时泄气，只能无奈的又坐下了(人在绝境中的，忍耐力真的是
超强，平时只能忍5分钟的便便，这个时候硬忍了一个小时，强吧？)。可是肠胃它不
管你这么多，你这边拼命忍,它那边拼命给你不断制造新的BB，压力逐渐变大，GM快
承受不了，压死骆驼的最后一根稻草马上就要来了，可人不是骆驼啊,所以我决定在
最后一根稻草来临之前 (最后一坨BB制造出来之前)，迅速解决掉它们！
这次我站起来之前，我向党宣誓了，向毛主席保证了，排除万难坚决完成这个不可能
完成的任务！所以我开始爬山涉水啊,奋力前进！在第一个车厢连接口，厕所满人，
第二个还是满人，我执着的向第三个厕所前进，前进，前进！我在跟时间赛跑！当我
来到第三个厕所的时候，我欣喜若狂(幸福兴奋之情不在多表，我也没有多想为什么
单单这个厕所没人,还以为上帝眷顾我呢)。
我马上蹲下解裤脱裤,可是当我完全蹲下的时候，发现一个很奇怪的事，怎么我的屁
屁凉飕飕的？而且从下往上吹的风特别大，真是奇了怪了，，风可以是四面八方吹过
来,还从来没有遇到过从下往上去的啊，我仔细一看，我靠！从便池里面直接可以看
到铁轨了~ 可是这个时候，我也来不及多想了，因为我知道最后一个稻草马上就要
来,先嘘嘘吧~ 水水刚刚流下去，我靠,全部往上吹了回来，我正低头通过哪个洞洞
研究铁轨在快速运动中的变化呢，正好水水全部吹到脸上和上衣了来了，这时立即意
识到了问题的严重性,可是有过屎急的人都知道，水水下来了，BB就是如来佛来了都
挡不住了，稀里哗啦的一顿猛下，我的妈啊,亲爹啊,全部往上吹回来了~这次不是吹
到我的脸上，全部吹到的PP上了，NK上也全部都是，连车厢上也全部都是。当时真是
跳车想死的心都有了~ 没办法，这个小房间已经全是我的DB了，幸好手纸还抓在手
里，我先把脸上的水水擦干净，把水水擦完后，纸不能浪费啊，接着擦PP，然后慢慢
的起来,把外裤脱下，NK是不能穿了啊,把NK脱下,然后用来擦了下鞋上的BB。然后扔
到窗外了，痛苦啊 ~ 上个厕所把NK都上没了，还弄的一身BB啊~ 哭啊~ 在这个
时候，我又犯了一个极愚蠢的错误，把擦完BB的纸，又扔到了那个便池里,还没有等
它接近便池,风把它们猛烈的吹起来,那吹的那个满屋都是啊` 雪花满天飞舞~ 在我
身边飞舞，我也欲哭无泪了~ 俄的神啊，我容易嘛，不就是上个厕所嘛~ 用的着这
么大动静吗？？？ 身上是什么味道，我在这里就不细表了，不过我感觉我回去的时
候，比我来的时候容易多了，不那么挤了，满车厢的人刷刷的往两边闪，嘿嘿，那感
觉你们体会不到的~
之后我明白了两个道理 ：第一两个物体在做互相相反高速运动的时候，其产生的风
力特别大，而且风向向上。
第二有很多人的地方,如果独独某个地方没有人,千万不要以为那是上帝给你的礼物。
自恋坛
大家看到的是摘要，要点击进去看哦
2007-8-2 23:10:53
[zz笑趴下]欲哭无泪！我在火车上上厕所的尴尬经历
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发布:huony | 分类:生活八卦 | 评论:6 | 引用:328
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